The Beat Poet

...if only it were that easy.

Sometimes I get so caught up in talking that I forget to just listen to what God is saying to me. I so badly want Him to hear everything that I have to say, to be able to express in words how I feel. But today, I realized that sometimes I need to just shut up and listen.

I was sitting in my backyard earlier today, listening to music and reading. When I pulled out my journal, I couldn't seem to find any words to write. Frustration followed soon thereafter. It's so hard for me not to want to just write everything that's going through my head on paper (or at least be able to express in words how I feel). Mostly, I think it's because I can go back, then, and analyze it. But today, I searched and searched for words and just couldn't seem to find them. Then I realized, "Hey, dummy. Maybe God is sick of you talking His ear off (not really but you understand what I mean). Why don't you listen to Him for a change?"

So I sat. I put my journal down, closed my eyes, listened to my music, and just sat there. Letting go of things is maybe one of the best feelings in the world. Of course, my problems and struggles didn't just magically work themselves out but it feels so much better to, if only for a little bit, just forget about all of it and know that God is taking care of it. He definitely talked to me during that time. He told me what He desired. Things that didn't make sense before are slowly starting to come together and I'm starting to have that peace again. I'm still far from having a clue about all of it but at least this is one step closer than where I was before.

God still didn't give me a whole lot of words to write down. But He did give me some. And in the form of poetry? Yah I know. God works in mysterious ways. Haha.