Raindrops

Here where self and sin have displaced the oil of gladness
Here in barren desert madness, weary and dry
Cannot run or walk, I'm crawling
But through shame I hear You calling
Clouds of mercy, raindrops falling

Downpour, I need a downpour

Come, come like the rain

Wash every stain
Fall upon me, Jesus
River of God, flooding with joy
Well up in me, Jesus

Into my heart's desolation flows the water of salvation
Fill this lowly wasteland with the shower from above
Only you can quench my thirsting
Fill until my heart is bursting
Jesus, ever be the first thing

Downpour, I need a downpour

Come, come like the rain
Wash every stain
Fall upon me, Jesus
River of God, flooding with joy
Well up in me, Jesus

God thought it'd be funny to take this literally today. I went up to Grandview Drive to walk, think, pray, listen, take pictures, and just stand in awe of His creation. There has been so much going on up in my head that I needed to lay it out all before Him. I've felt so weighed down by everything. I needed time to just chill by myself with no other people but God. As I was walking, I realized that all of these worries had been stealing away my joy and happiness. I've felt alone and weak. I needed more than to just pray about what was going on. I needed to let go. I needed to trust that God has it all worked out and that He will provide in me what I need to get through each day and each situation that arises. I wanted that joy back. Not just that peace of mind that I once had but that peace of heart.

All of this was going on in my head as I was walking. I looked in the distance past Metamora and could see that the sky was filled with these billowing, dark gray clouds. Rain was pouring out of them but I wasn't too worried because I figured that it was really far away from where I was at. Wrong. Within minutes of noticing these clouds, rain was pouring down on me. I was parked a good 10 minutes away from where I was standing and the rain seemed to just keep falling harder and harder. After 30 seconds, I realized that it would be futile to try to run back to my car. So I just let God soak me through and through.

As I walked back in the pouring rain, the lyrics of "Downpour" filled my head. I stopped at what would've been a really pretty point above the river (also a place with no trees to shelter me from the rain in the near vicinity) and let go. I probably looked ridiculous standing there with my arms raised high, face to the sky with the biggest smile on my face, all the while getting pelted by rain. I love how God used what should've been a completely frustrating situation to teach me.