A Big Blob of Blah

I've decided that Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are entirely too long.

The semester has started and it's time to buck up. Hardcore.

I still don't know who I'm rooting for on Sunday. I have always been an avid Bears fan up until this year when I didn't really care. And then they started winning...and I still didn't care. In fact, I really didn't think they deserved to win 98% of the games they did win. But I'm not a Colts fan, by any means.

Friends - New & Old

There's just something about the friends that you grew up with. I mean, the first time you ever split up for real is after senior year when you're all going different colleges and universities. Granted, some choose to stay at home and go to a community college or take a year off but for the most part, it's not the same as it used to be. Yet somehow, even though you've made a ton of new friends at school, these new friends could never, ever know you as well as your friends from home. They didn't experience the grade school years with you where all the girls hated all the boys and vice versa, they didn't get you to see you at your awkwardest (I'm not sure if that's a word) in junior high, they didn't see (and even participate in) all those dances, dates, and drama in high school.

As much as I love my friends from Bradley and realize that there is more of a chance that they'll be the ones I keep in touch with after college, I still can't help but feel a sense of loyalty to those from Morton. During my senior year (and even during my freshman year at BU), I really connected with a couple of solid group of people that I love. I got together with some of them last night for dinner in Bloomington and it was so much fun. Even though some of us hadn't seen each other in quite a while, it's like we just picked up where we left off. We've all grown as separate people with different experiences thus far in school but we've all grown together - just in different cities around central Illinois, whether it be Morton, Peoria, Chambana, or Bloomington.

I'm not trying to downplay my friendships at Bradley at all. In fact, they are a good reminder that life moves on. As hard as it is to realize that I'll probably lose touch with many of my Morton friends as we finish these next couple of years in school, I have connected with other people. I have made incredible bonds with such incredible people. As time passes and I get to experience new things with my BU friends and not the Mortonites, the more and more I become okay with that.

This is where God has placed me. This is what He intends.

Late Night

It's almost 2am and I can't get to sleep.



Do you ever feel like you're not living up to the potential that God gave you? I've felt that a lot lately.

Not even that. Sometimes it's just the feeling that I'm not being who God created me to be, who He's called me to be.

Strip away the pride, strip away the selfishness, strip away the reputation, strip away everything. Bare bones.

What do I see?

(Insert private thought)

What do I want to see?

Love. Faith. Humility. Generosity. Integrity. Patience. Kindness. Self-control. Hope. Perserverance. Dreams. Joy. Real beauty. Honesty.

And so much more.

Isn't it so great that God is in us? Isn't it so great that He can change our hearts? Isn't it so great that God loves us despite it all?

A Boy! A Boy!

That's my nephew.
He was born on January 14, 2007.
7 lbs, 3 oz - 20 inches
His name's Samuel James Geyer.
He's quite the looker already.

Confession

I'll admit it.


I bought the High School Musical soundtrack today.


So what?








But if it makes up for it, I also bought Damien Rice's new album.

Addition by Subtraction

One step forward, two steps back.

Story of my life.

I wish I could get it.

But I can't. I just can't.





I found an old ring of mine that says "passion" on it in some Asian language (what a coincidence). I like it a lot. I'm going to start wearing it again.





12-30-06
When I look into her eyes
I don't know where she stands with You
My desire was to make an impact on her life
But she slid backwards even more
Beyond her eyes, I can see her soul
Broken, lost, confused, hiding
Trying to find herself
In work, in alcohol, in isolation, in music
But never in You
I want so badly for her to stop
Stop lying to herself, stop compromising
My heart breaks as I look at her
So completely lost
Looking for herself in the world
Conforming to every situation and person and group
Doubting the entire way
What can I say to her?
I stand there blankly, unable to give her a straight answer
Then I realize, I'm just as lost and confused as she is
Give us hope
Give us perserverance
Give us You

Go

As I sit here, Ray LaMontagne playing (you should listen to some of his stuff - all soul, baby) and drinking coffee, I realize how incredibly comfortable I am. Upper middle-class, privileged, and living with almost no worries.

I'm trying to think back to a time when I was forced out of my comfort zone. No, not little things like speaking up in class or confronting a friend.

In all honesty, I haven't been pushed out of my happy, little surrounding for a while.

Thanks to some friends of mine (and with the help of facebook picture albums), I got to view a few photos from their China missions trip. It looked fantastic.

I've been to another country on a missions trip. It was absolutely incredible (due to the mixture of the beauty of the country, God's goodness, and the children that we interacted with). God is so good.

I want to go. God isn't calling us to live comfortable lives. In fact, being a follower of Him ensures us hardship, pain, uncertainty, and even more. I believe I've been living in comfort for far too long. But as we give that up, we gain so much more.

Life will have meaning again. We will find hope. We will be the ones to show up - God is already there. His love will be found in places unimaginable. Faith will increase. Peace will spread. People will be saved. The movement will grow.

So This is the New Year

Welp, it's 2007. Came quick, didn't it? This New Years was probably the best one I've had thus far. I spent it up at Miracle Camp at a young adult's retreat with some of my best friends. It was the awakening that I needed. During that weekend, I made some pretty important decisions about pretty much every aspect of me as a person and my life. I'm so incredibly excited for this upcoming year...you have no idea.

I wish that I had time to post more but I really need to get some sleep before another hard day's work at CAT tomorrow. Haha.

God bless, friends.