"It promotes materialism."

Have you ever had that one CD that you just relate to? It feels as if every song was written specially for you. Well, Matt Wertz's "Twenty Three Places" is my life CD right now. It's awesome. Seriously, every single song is simply amazing [I think I just used alliteration accidentally]. Despite the fact that Matt Wertz is a stud and I have a huge crush on him, everything about this album is spectacular. I've been pretty obsessed with it for the past few days. It's so relaxing and a great CD to just pop in your CD player when you're cruising the greater Peoria area.

Speaking of relaxing tunes, check out Amos Lee's self-titled album. You'll fall asleep in about 2.2 seconds to some sweet melodic goodness. [Compliments of Nick Throckmorton; well actually, compliments of Daniel Davis, I believe]

All right, well. Things have been pretty insane around here. Basically everyone from out of town who's coming to the wedding arrived yesterday/last night [except for Phil, who gets here tonight]. Work went quickly [Aimee came and visited, thank goodness!] and I even got to go to Kade's before class. My midterm went well, I think, and it only took about 45 minutes. I came back to the house because I was exhausted and found the bachelor party in full swing [aka: eating, euchre, and nintendo]. I tried getting to bed semi-decently early but it was so hard, seeing as how I'm a very social person. But I managed to get to be under the covers by about 11.30pm. Today, we've already had the bridal luncheon and then I ran to get my nails done (haha, totally not my thing but what the heck, might as well). Now I'm waiting for the rehearsal and dinner later tonight. Tomorrow's going to be so great. I'm incredibly excited. It'll be so fun.

God is so GREAT.

Don't ever doubt that.

...and this one, too.

i don't know how the stars hang

or how there's night and then there's day

i don't know how you spoke into the black

and made it all obey

all i know is the bleeding in my heart

and the healing in your touch

all i know is that you gave everything

so let that be enough

cuz it's all i know

i don't know how your love works

how you cover me in grace

i don't know how you swallow all i am

when i can't stand my taste

all i know is the bleeding in my heart

and the healing in your touch

all i know is that you gave everything

so let that be enough

cuz it's all i know

i can't explain your mystery

but i know the answer

all i know is the bleeding in my heart

and the healing in your touch

all i know is that you gave everything

so let that be enough

cuz it's all i know

you're all i know

all i know - matt wertz

I Love This Song

Remembering everything about my world and when you came.

Wondering if the change you’d bring means nothing else would be the same.

Did you know what you were doing? Did you know?

Did you know how you would move me? Well, I don’t really think so.

But the night came down and swept us away.

And the stars, they seemed, to paint the most elaborate scene to date.

How could we know?

That song, this show.

We'd learn so much about ourselves.

From Toledo to Tokyo.

The words were scribed on every page and now there’s books up on our shelves.

Did you know how you would move us? Did you know?

When the lights first came upon us and we saw the Everglow.

And the moment's magic swept us away.

And a young man's dream was almost seen so plain.

When was the night that showed us the sign?

Revealed in the sky to leave all behind.

But where to begin?

Throwing caution to the wind.

We reached for the stars.

Everything was now ours.

Did you know how you would move me? Did you know?

Did you know how you would move me? Well, I don’t even think so.

But the moment's magic swept us away.

And it’s so close but we’re so far away.

It’s so close but we’re so far away.

It's so close but we're so far away.

We're So Far Away - Mae

Life in a Nutshell

Eggplant.

Haha.

Get it?

I needed that little bit of humor to ease my mood right now. I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now.

School:

I should be studying for my Middle Eastern Cultures midterm that's tomorrow night but I just needed a break. That class is honestly 3 hours of non-stop boredom. Josh, Marla, and I were DYING on Tuesday. The most exciting thing that happened was when Josh accidentally stabbed me in the leg with his pencil and our lady teacher stopped class to ask me what was wrong. I had my Western Civ midterm this morning and it went pretty well. That class is actually pretty interesting. I've met a few people in there so it's not as bad as I thought a 7.30am class would be. Plus, Kampfl's a stud. I highly recommend him (he teaches Western Civ at Bradley, too). Business Stats is awesome. He teaches for 2 hours tops (it's supposed to be 3.5 hours) and then we're done. I haven't done any studying/homework outside of class and I got the second highest grade out of two classes on our first test. If you have to take QM262 at Bradley, I suggest you take this class (BUS203) at ICC instead.

Wedding:

People have started arriving for the wedding (we'll have 7-8 house guests by tomorrow night). It stinks because I haven't felt that much a part of the festivities because I am either working or in class. Honestly, the only thing that I've gotten to go to is their first wedding shower at the beginning of June. But I'm looking forward to Friday and Saturday. Awesome doesn't even begin to explain it.

Bed Bath & Beyond:

I work tomorrow, even though I asked off. They even had me scheduled for Saturday but I told them that I absolutely couldn't come in. It's funny how they actually gave me hours on the only days that I asked off. Sweet. I'll probably be scheduled for 4 hours next week or something janky like that. I can't wait to quit and find a job that I actually love. Something is seriously wrong with that place.

Life (in general):

Well, not much to say here. It seems as if so much has been demanding my attention lately. It'll be nice when things finally slow down again and I have a little bit more free time on my hands. Even looking at this post so far, I can tell that I become really negative when I'm stressed out. I don't wanna be that way. Hopefully my mood will change soon. I'm still trying to be patient about certain things. Not that I've stopped praying about them and trusting that God will do what He wants but honestly, I'm a little bit anxious/worried. This will only force me to rely on Him more. About two days ago, I was sad about "it" for the first time. I am slowly letting God tear down these walls that I've put up and, in turn, I'm realizing why I put them up in the first place. But God allows us to feel pain, hurt, disappointment, etc. for a reason. It's only going to grow us and make us stronger, better, and wiser people.

He Made You That Way

What's your passion?

Find it and chase it.

Don't let it slip by.

It's worth fighting for.

Free

I want to do cartwheels again.

Searching

I got to thinking on my way home from class tonight (driving to and from ICC twice a day, two times a week and once a day, two times a week provides me with a lot of thinking time).

I obviously struggle with the fact that I don't always see the "big picture." You know...the larger plan that God has. This is my conclusion. If God allowed me to always see the larger plan that He has: 1 - I wouldn't have faith that He would bring me through situations. 2 - I would be so focused on the future that I would completely forget about the present. 3 - I wouldn't seek and pursue Him as hard as I would if I always knew what He was going to do or how things were going to turn out.

I really had more to type about on that subject but my brain just went completely blank. Sorry, guys. I think it's time for me to get away from this computer.

Raindrops

Here where self and sin have displaced the oil of gladness
Here in barren desert madness, weary and dry
Cannot run or walk, I'm crawling
But through shame I hear You calling
Clouds of mercy, raindrops falling

Downpour, I need a downpour

Come, come like the rain

Wash every stain
Fall upon me, Jesus
River of God, flooding with joy
Well up in me, Jesus

Into my heart's desolation flows the water of salvation
Fill this lowly wasteland with the shower from above
Only you can quench my thirsting
Fill until my heart is bursting
Jesus, ever be the first thing

Downpour, I need a downpour

Come, come like the rain
Wash every stain
Fall upon me, Jesus
River of God, flooding with joy
Well up in me, Jesus

God thought it'd be funny to take this literally today. I went up to Grandview Drive to walk, think, pray, listen, take pictures, and just stand in awe of His creation. There has been so much going on up in my head that I needed to lay it out all before Him. I've felt so weighed down by everything. I needed time to just chill by myself with no other people but God. As I was walking, I realized that all of these worries had been stealing away my joy and happiness. I've felt alone and weak. I needed more than to just pray about what was going on. I needed to let go. I needed to trust that God has it all worked out and that He will provide in me what I need to get through each day and each situation that arises. I wanted that joy back. Not just that peace of mind that I once had but that peace of heart.

All of this was going on in my head as I was walking. I looked in the distance past Metamora and could see that the sky was filled with these billowing, dark gray clouds. Rain was pouring out of them but I wasn't too worried because I figured that it was really far away from where I was at. Wrong. Within minutes of noticing these clouds, rain was pouring down on me. I was parked a good 10 minutes away from where I was standing and the rain seemed to just keep falling harder and harder. After 30 seconds, I realized that it would be futile to try to run back to my car. So I just let God soak me through and through.

As I walked back in the pouring rain, the lyrics of "Downpour" filled my head. I stopped at what would've been a really pretty point above the river (also a place with no trees to shelter me from the rain in the near vicinity) and let go. I probably looked ridiculous standing there with my arms raised high, face to the sky with the biggest smile on my face, all the while getting pelted by rain. I love how God used what should've been a completely frustrating situation to teach me.

Another Week

This past week has been absolute craziness. But amidst it all, God has been able to teach me a couple things (as always).

I'm not always going to understand why He does certain things. We are not made to understand His ways completely. If we did, there would be no basis for faith at all. And if there's no faith, there goes the basis of Christianity. In every situation, God reveals His glory first and then does what He wants with us second. But He's never going to screw us over if we continually seek Him.

I build walls. I hate getting hurt so I build walls around my heart to "protect" myself from feeling any sort of pain, disappointment, regret, etc. As a result, I find myself being very closed-minded and selfish. I don't want to keep building these walls. In fact, I want to tear them down. But I know that I can only do that with the strength that God provides. I want to be free.

1. Pray
2. Listen
3. Act
And I stress #3. If you know that God is telling you something, ACT on it. Don't just think that praying and hearing from God is where the story ends. He calls us to act and react to what He's telling us, no matter how crazy or serious or dumb or impossible it might sound to us.

Surrounding yourself with a solid group of friends is important. Very important. Friends that you can talk to about anything. Friends that will pray with and for you. Friends that listen. Friends that push and challenge you. Friends that love you unconditionally. Friends that correct you when you're wrong. Friends that aren't afraid to tell you the truth. Friends that laugh with you and at you. Friends that understand you better than you do at times.

Go buy Damien Rice's album "O" if you don't have it already. It's fabulous.

What is Faith?

I don't understand what's going on. Maybe that's the beauty of it - that God presents us with situations that logically don't make sense and that we can't understand with our heads. Instead, we have to take that leap of faith and trust that what He's telling us is right and good and perfect.

He is so much bigger than our perception of Him and what we think He wants. Nothing will ever stand in His way, whether it be our words, actions, thoughts, choices, etc. He can give and take away whenever and whatever He wants. His timing is perfect. Behind everything God does, there is always a purpose.

But He also calls us to listen. He never wants us to settle. Even though He can use each situation to His glory, He wants us to act on what we've heard from Him.

I settled too soon.

Jung-Myers-Briggs

I was talking to a friend and he said that he had just taken the Jung-Myers-Briggs personality test. I remember talking about it or even taking it in high school but I couldn't really remember anything past that. So I googled it and took it again.

I'm an ESTJ (Extroverted [11%] Sensing [25%] Thinking [12%] Judging [67%]). I'm not too sure how well I fit that description. I guess it will only make me think more about myself and what really motivates me, drives me, is important to me, etc. Here's the link. You should take it, too.

First Day of My Life

Kampfl moved back our book review to next Monday. YES. Now I can procrastinate until next Sunday night. Haha. I'm not going to pretend like I'll even think about it for the rest of the week because I know myself too well.

I think he's back. I hope he's back. I want him to be back.

I've been listening to a lot of Bright Eyes lately. Not that you care or anything.

Better Days

After today, I hate cherries. Let me re-phrase that. I'm totally down with eating them but not with picking or pitting them. I'm so glad that my mom decided that, next year, we will not be keeping the cherries but letting whoever wants them pick them and take them for themselves. Sooo if you're in the mood for some cherries next summer, let me know and I can hook you up.

Did you watch the USA game today? Because I did. The Ghana-Czech game was much more exciting. Maybe it's because they had better REFEREES. That's all I'm going to comment on.

I finally got out tonight. First time all week. Got to spend some quality time with my friends. And I hate car hide and seek. But I love getting fake pulled over and having them run checks on us. Haha...ohhh Morton Police Department. (Disclaimer: I'm not a bad kid at all. If you know me, the worst thing I've ever done, other than getting a failure to yield ticket in front of the entire MHS cross country team, was running off of the Grundy Grade School grounds down to Stephanie Sailor's house in 5th grade)

Honestly, being around your friends can make such a difference. At least for me. My friends are so great. Be jealous. I love you all.

Confused

One minute, it can all make sense.

The next, it can all fall apart.

The only thing constant in my life is

my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Please guide me in Your will.

Don't let my selfish desires or anything worldly hinder my pursuit of You.

Your plan has and always will be bigger than mine.

I love You.

Take my world apart

I am on my knees

Take my world apart

Broken on my knees

School & Soccer

ICC has taken over my life. Taking 10 hours this summer was NOT a good idea, regardless of how "ahead" I'll be next fall. It seems that I have so much due in every class every time I go. This is craptageous.

On another note, I decided I'm not going to post the next day's games on here (obviously). You should stop being lazy and just go to the World Cup website and check out the game times. Actually, it would be easier to go to ESPN's soccer website and find what time and on which network the games will be aired.

Yesterday's game with Saudi Arabia v. Tunisia was amazing.

I have more to write about but I'll save it for some other time, seeing as how I need to read/finish my book for my book review that's due next Wednesday. Good thing I'm only on page 42!

Feelings Shmeelings

Your grace is sufficient for me

Your strength is made perfect when I am weak

All that I cling to, I lay at Your feet

Your grace is sufficient for me

These past couple of weeks, I've felt really stagnant in my walk with Christ. It's been really hard for me to focus during my quiet times. I felt weak and prone to Satan's attacks the entire time and thought that I couldn't do anything/I was doing everything I could about it. I plain just didn't feel like God had been teaching me anything. Bingo. I hadn't felt like God had been teaching me anything. Sometimes I think I base things too much off of my feelings (two things wrong with that: the fact that I'm basing my growth off of myself AND the fact that I'm basing it off of feelings in general) instead of what I know to be good and true all the time. In reality, God had been teaching me that I need to be trusting Him and not relying all on myself or others. I was trying so hard to be the best at everything, pleasing others, doing everything right, etc., etc. that I had forgotten about pleasing the One who I should only be trying to please. As I tried doing everything on my own, I realized the tighter and tighter I clung to/relied on earthly things, relationships, etc. Any fault, mess up, or screw up would be a sign of my weakness and I struggle with showing others that side of me.

.:SURRENDER:.

1a: to yield to the power, control, or possession of another upon compulsion or demand

b: to give up completely or agree to forgo especially in favor of another

2a: to give (oneself) up into the power of another especially as a prisoner

b: to give (oneself) over to something (as an influence); to give oneself up into the power of another

2 CORINTHIANS 12.9

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

World Cup

All right. So I decided to make this easy for you guys. Each day, I will post the next day's game times and who is playing. The games will most likely be on either ESPN2 or ABC. I know the 8am games are tough to wake up for so just pick either the 11am or 2pm game...unless a really good team is playing at 8am.

So here is the schedule for June 13, 2006:
Korea (29) v. Togo (61) [8am]
France (8) v. Switzerland (35) [11am]
Brazil (1) v. Croatia (23) [2pm]

I would recommend watching the Brazil-Croatia game for sure (not that Croatia stands a chance or anything; it'll just be some sweet soccer watching). The France-Switzerland game should be pretty entertaining as well. And I'm not gonna lie...even I wouldn't wake up to watch the Korea-Togo game...and I'm Korean (in case you didn't know).

Happy Birthday, Aimee

Several things to talk about in today's post...

I'd first like to start off saying HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my wonderful best friend, Aimee Meehan. She turns 19 today and yes, boys...she IS single :)

World Cup. I hope you've all been indulging yourself in this every four year goodness. Now, I understand that most of you probably aren't too into soccer like we are here at the Larson household, but seriously...it's the WORLD CUP. Even if you think soccer is the most boring sport in the universe, just take some time to sit down and at least watch one game. Hopefully you pick a good game with two decent teams playing and after watching, you're outlook on soccer has changed. Oh...and don't expect too much from the USA team. Even though we're ranked 5th in the world by FIFA, we're just a team full of MLS posers who is probably one of the most overrated teams in the tournament. Don't expect big things. I mean, we did just get thrown by the Czech Republic (ranked 2nd in the world) about ten minutes ago.

I've come to realize that I really like history. I would never major or anything in it but my western civ class at ICC is super interesting and I'm really enjoying the reading that I've been doing. I never thought that I would like it (because of the numerous complaints that I heard from my fellow peers about western civ at Bradley). And last night, I realized I'm an organization freak. Welcome to nerdville, Kim.

Eric and Jill are moving stuff into their house today. Weird and awesome at the same time. Only a few more weeks and then they will be married (sidenote: July 1 is also Canada day [celebrate with the Knowles family] and Nick's 20th birthday!). I'm so excited. Jill is such a spectacular girl for Deke and I can't wait to see their future life together. I know that God will bless them richly in their marriage.

1: It builds a solid foundation of trust and communication.
2: Time spent together is more important than any gift, specific date, etc.
3: Make us rely on God fully instead of relying on ourselves or each other.
4: It forces us to really make sure of our thoughts and feelings for each other.
5: Relationships are work. Not everything about them is going to be easy.
6: It's all worth it.

The Turkey Festival redeemed itself on Saturday night. Nick, Marty, Aimee, and I headed out there and to my delight, they HADN'T run out of turkey. They actually had a plethora of it. And what dang good turkey that is. So I bought a pound bag of turkey pieces and Nick and I rocked it like a hurricane. Mmmhmm. And we saw Miss Tremont, aka Kara Sauder (and also my FORMER friend). She had forgotten to inform me that she was even competing in the pageant and long story short, she won, I found out from Aimee, and now we're not friends anymore. Just kidding. I love that girl to death and was so happy for/proud of her. She's quality.

Well, that about sums up my post. I hope you enjoyed. Now get outside...it's beautiful!

Turkey WHAT?!

How does the Tremont Turkey Festival run out of TURKEY on a Friday night?

This week has been going pretty well so far. Nick came up on Sunday and stayed the next couple of nights. We moved a bunch of his furniture in and then helped Marty, Aaron, and Andy move in. It was really good to see them all again. I love those boys. Anyway, I started my ICC classes this week as well. I made a friend in Western Civ, Business Stats is all right (I like it because it involves math; I know, I'm a nerd), and Intro to Middle Eastern Cultures is...BORING. The only reason I get through that class is because I sit by Josh and Marla and Kristi sit behind us. It should get better, though, because we really have only done geography stuff and haven't gotten into the culture at all yet. I've been hanging a lot with Marty this past week. I don't want him to feel alone/scared in the demon possessed house. Plus, he's a pretty cool dude so it works. We've hit up Steak 'n Shake, Baskins, the Turkey Fest, my house, and watched Top Gun. Wow...central Illinois is full of so much excitement. And tomorrow Nick is coming up. So basically, I'm excited :)

And all the guys went to see The Omen tonight. AKA: God is going to smite them.

Yearn

I want to yearn for You
I want to burn with passion
Over You and only You

Things have been rough lately.
My independence and reliance on myself has caused changes.
Changes in my attitude, outlook, thoughts, and actions.
I've been pessimistic, negative, and just downright crabby.
I'm sorry.
It's time to shift my focus away from myself and back to God.
I can't do it on my own.
Never have been, never will be able to.

I need Your help.

Thoughtless

I wish I had something of value to write in here...